


honey i'll be glad to admit it

by Ninyaaaaaaah



Series: honey [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, F/F, F/M, Polyamory, beginning relationships, literally like nothing happens in this fic except herc thinking thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninyaaaaaaah/pseuds/Ninyaaaaaaah
Summary: Herc strokes his hand down Peggy's back, holds her close, something protective and bright flaring in his chest. He’s wanted her for so long, wanted this.So why does it feel incomplete?





	honey i'll be glad to admit it

When Herc wakes up for the second time, the first thing he sees is the yellow dress on it’s mannequin in the corner. He can’t help but think of the pictures of Maria in it, the motion and laughter captured clearly. 

He shakes himself, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

He has his arm around Peggy’s waist, her breath soft on his neck, nothing but warmth between them. He has Peggy, naked and asleep in his bed, so why is he thinking of Maria in a yellow dress? 

Peggy sighs in her sleep and nuzzles closer to him, and Herc strokes his hand down her back, holds her close, something protective and bright flaring in his chest. He’s wanted her for so long, wanted this. 

So why does it feel incomplete?

He shakes it off. Settles back in and curls close around Peggy. Kisses her forehead. Strokes his hand down her smooth arm. Marvels at the curve of her lips, the arch of her cheek bones. Revels in the fact that he gets to have her like this, finally, after months of waiting and wanting and trying not to push boundaries or make her uncomfortable. Months of finding bras and panties and sex toys littered around his apartment. Months of Peggy, vivacious and alive and half dressed, taking up all the space in his tiny apartment, leaving her things all over every available surface, breathing new life into the place. Months of Peggy looking absolutely stunning dressed in his clothes, so breathtaking he couldn’t even be mad at her for helping herself to his clean laundry. 

Months of trying to deny he had any feelings for her at all, his friend’s fiancee’s baby sister. He has no right. 

He has no right, but then, here she is in his arms, and there’s no denying she wanted it to. 

He kisses the tip of her nose, marvels at how incredibly precious she is, how amazing it’s been to watch her find her feet in New York City and blossom into the confidence she wears so well. 

In her sleep, Peggy murmurs something about frogs in the washing machine, and rolls over onto her stomach. 

Herc bites his lip to keep from laughing, and gently extracts himself from the bed. 

He’ll go see if Maria is up yet - she probably is, and he wants to stop her from cleaning the entire apartment before he wakes up. He’ll make coffee and tea, and think about getting some breakfast started while Peggy sleeps in. He’ll try not to notice the gentle sweep of curls over Maria’s brow, the way her honey brown eyes seem endlessly deep and searching. The way everything she does is so soft, so careful. 

He pulls on a pair of sweatpants and tugs on a T-shirt - feels, around Maria, that he has to make himself presentable. 

He looks back at Peggy, now sprawled in the centre of his bed, somehow using all four pillows, and taking up most of the space, and slips quietly out of the bedroom. 

He pulls the door shut behind him, thinking perhaps it might be time to invest in a bigger bed, and heads down the hall to the tiny kitchen and living room. 

It’s quiet, so he expects to see Maria still asleep on the couch, but when he glances over, she’s not there. The blanket is folded neatly, pillow on top, far neater than Peggy ever leaves it, and Maria’s backpack is gone. 

Herc frowns, and looks around, but in a space this tiny, there’s no way he would have missed her, no way he wouldn’t have heard her if she was up. 

She’s gone, as if she’d never been here at all, the only indication he hadn’t dreamt her up the tiny bit of neatness in the midst of Peggy’s disaster.

Herc wracks his brain, trying to remember if she’d mentioned needing to be anywhere today, but he comes up blank. 

Frowning, he walks into the kitchen, starts up the coffee maker, and notices the note on the fridge.

_had to leave early, sorry._

_-M_

He stares at it, something tightening in his chest, something sinking in his bones. 

It feels like fear, like letting something slip through his fingertips, like an ending that makes it hard to breathe.

Herc heads back to the bedroom and picks up his phone, Peggy still sleeping soundly in the bed. He paces down the hall and around the tiny living room as he types out a text to Maria and hits send.

 **Hercules:** where’d you run off to in such a hurry this morning?

He tries to play it cool, tries to play it casual. He doesn’t want to make something of nothing but he can feel a tension spreading through his skin. 

The smell of fresh coffee fills the apartment, and the sun streams in the living room window. Herc doesn’t know what to do with his hands while he waits, and he can’t sit down, feels restless and strung out and a little overwhelmed-

“Herc?” Peggy’s voice startles him and he looks over at her, standing in the doorway wearing his tank top and lime green boxer briefs that are loose on her slim hips. He stares at her, and she’s gorgeous and perfect and stunning and he feels as though he’s drowning.

“Herc?” Peggy asks again. She steps to him, all long legs and big eyes, stops his pacing. “What’s wrong?”

“Maria’s gone,” he answers, his voice sounds weak and far away to his own ears. 

“What?” Something flickers over Peggy’s face that looks a lot like the way he feels inside, and he doesn’t even know where to start with the weight on his chest and the tension in his skin.

“Maria left,” Herc says again.

Peggy reaches out and takes his hands and squeezes, looks up at him with uncertainty in her gaze and worry creasing her brow.

“Did you text her? Did she say why?” She asks, voice soft.

“She’s not answering me,” Herc says.

Peggy gives his hands a gentle shake, just like he’s seen her do with Maria countless times, a little gesture that barely seems conscious to her but reminds him that he’s still here in his own bones and skin. She’s watching him closely with her endless dark eyes, little furrow in her brow. 

Herc feels guilty for even worrying about Maria right now, with Peggy in front of him, with the way they melted into each other just hours ago. 

“Herc,” Peggy says, voice soft. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

Herc closes his eyes for a moment, can barely get his thoughts straight in his head, let alone express them to Peggy. 

“I… Peggy… I don’t know how… you’re not going to like it…” he starts, stumbling over his own words. 

“Try me,” Peggy says, soft, gentle. “We had sex once, Herc, it’s not like we’re married.” 

Herc takes a deep breath, and he looks up at her like she might save him, because he knows she’s right. He gets sentimental too quickly and he feels things down to the marrow of his bones and he makes too much of everything. 

“I… Peggy I have feelings for you. Like, real feelings. I want to be your boyfriend, but I think I have those same feelings for Maria too, and I’m scared that we’ve scared her away, what if she heard us? I don’t even know how I can want both of those things at the same time, but I do.” Herc takes another deep breath, and watches Peggy’s face, waits for the fall out, and sits up in surprise when instead, she laughs, and her whole face lights up. 

“Oh Herc,” she says, and she throws her arms around his neck and squirms her way into his lap and kisses him soundly. “That’s all?”

“I… guess?” He blinks, taken aback. 

“Herc, I want that too. I want you, and I want Maria too. It’s okay to want both, god, I’m so relieved you love her too!” Peggy squirms in his lap, unable to keep still, and Herc laughs, can’t help but get caught up in her joy, just like always. 

“So… now what?” He asks, struck a little dumb, looking to her for leadership. 

“Well, I mean, polyamory isn’t like, super common, but it’s definitely not unheard of. So, now… now we go see what Maria thinks of all this,” Peggy says. 

“It’s a lot, Peggy. Do you think she’s ready?” Herc asks.

“I think we need to open the conversation, Herc,” Peggy says. 

“What if she says no, or yes to only one of us?” Herc wraps his arms tight around Peggy, holds her like a lifeline. 

“We worry about that if it happens Herc. Let me go talk to her first, okay? It’s a lot to take in at once, and she might want to think about it, but I think we owe it to her to at least start the conversation?” Peggy looks at him again with that searching gaze, and Herc is so very glad he has her. 

“Okay. Okay. Keep in touch, please?” Herc hates waiting, hates not knowing, but he lets Peggy go, watches her change out of his clothes and into her own, a flowy, lavender maxi dress, and slip her feet into flip flops. 

“You got it,” Peggy leans over and kisses him, and Herc closes his eyes and leans in, imagines he can lick the confidence from her lips and hold it in his mouth to borrow. 

“I’ll call you, asap, promise,” Peggy says, sparkle in her eye, happy smile on her face. 

Herc watches her bound out the door, phone and purse in hand, and hopes like hell she can fix it, tries to ignore the ominous silence from his own phone on the coffee table.

**Author's Note:**

> 'sup. thanks for reading. pls comment and validate my existence.


End file.
